Looking For Support? Get A Good Bra

Way back in my reporter days, I covered the Yippie versus Yuppie debates between aging 60s radical Abbie Hoffman and 60s radical-turned-capitalist Jerry Rubin.

During their contretemps, Rubin claimed to have supported a particular presidential candidate, to which Hoffman snorted in his unrefined New England accent, “You supported Gary Hart? Gary Hart got more support from his jock strap!”

Hoffman was a master quipster, but he was on the losing side of history, and today we claim to “support” things we merely donate to, think about, or even worse.

Consider all those who claim to support our troops by advocating that they be shipped off as cannon fodder to ever more and dangerous exotic quagmires.

Support has staked its claim to the marketing world as well. Ads running on the radio today ask me to support local music. Likewise, I’ve been urged to support our local sports teams, local restaurants and other commercial enterprises.

These pleas are made with the force of moral suasion, as if declining to support them – which is to say purchase their products – is a moral failing on our part.

My unspoken reaction to these arguments is not just rejection but a bit of pique. They feel like a sleight-of-hand, where marketers are hoping we will be so wracked by guilt that we won’t notice they’re just attempting to burrow into our wallets without providing a superior product. That strategy won’t work on me: I have a Jewish mother!

I hope you, like I, appreciate the majesty of the free market and buy what you want, at the price you want, unmoved by specious appeals to some amorphous and unearned loyalty. Or by your mom, of whatever religious persuasion.

(Right here I should exempt, to some degree, the effort to push us towards locally-grown food and local restaurants over chains. In both cases, the quality is generally superior and the price is often comparable. Even there, I make my choices not because they are ethically purer but because they are better products. If you think Bubba Gump gives you greater value than Fish, by all means, eat at Bubba Gump. Of course, if that’s the state of your palette, you could just dumpster dive behind Fish and kill the quality and price bird with one stone.)

So here’s my question for those support phonies: what exactly is local music doing to support me and my boyhood dream of playing shortstop for the Kansas City Royals? Since the answer is, nothing, in what way has local music earned my loyalty?

See, here’s the thing: when I buy music, or see a band in concert, I am purchasing entertainment, not democracy and human rights. There is no moral component to this decision. Shovels and Rope are a magnificently talented duo, but that’s not my musical flavor of ice cream. So when I fork over cash for a slew of songs by Frontier Ruckus or purchase concert tickets to see The Tallest Man on Earth, I’m not dissing my homies; I’m satisfying my desire for tunes that appeal to me.

This reminds me of a complaint by a long-gone TV reporter repeatedly pummeled by local non-profits for coverage. They would argue that he had an obligation to broadcast stories about them. They didn’t understand (and many still don’t, I’m sure) that his job was to report news his viewers (i.e., customers) wanted, and so the only way to win his “business” was to provide him with what he considered news. In effect, they were demanding his support without providing the business imperative for it.

As far as I can tell, the support appeal is a failed strategy, and for obvious reasons. So to all of those who demand my support, just remember: my glove is oiled and ready.

–barry waldman

Save the Date for Annual Bootcamp, Sponsorships Available

2014 AMA BootcampThe Charleston AMA board is busily planning for our annual Bootcamp, an afternoon of learning followed by a fun summer social. Save the date for the afternoon of Thursday, July 30. We’ll gather at the Historic Rice Mill on Lockwood Drive in downtown Charleston. A full list of topics and speakers will be announced soon but expect discussions on email marketing, Google ads, Instagram, Facebook advertising and creating killer content. Tickets on sale soon!

Space is limited and this event sells out every year. But there is one way you can snag your ticket early: become a sponsor.

For the first time, the Charleston AMA is offering not only a Platinum Event Sponsorship but also Individual Table Sponsorships for each topic/table so small businesses and entrepreneurs could have a opportunity to gain exposure with a smaller investment.

The Platinum Sponsorship includes the following:

  • Lead event sponsor on all emailed and printed collateral
  • Lead event sponsor on all Social Channels and our Website
  • 4 tickets to the event for your team (which includes the social afterwards – $200 value)
  • Welcome “commercial” to all participants (80-100 ppl) during the opening remarks
  • Display table for company materials and promos

Platinum Sponsorship: $500.00 (only 1 available)2014 AMA Bootcamp

Table sponsorships include the following:

  • Sponsor signage at your table
  • Brochures, business cards or other promotional items at your table
  • Listing as Table Sponsor on collateral
  • 1 event ticket for a member of your team to attend (includes the social afterwards – $50 value)

Table Sponsor: $100.00 (only 10 will be available)

Please keep in mind this event is limited to 100 participants and will sell out quickly once we launch ticket sales. Take advantage of this “early registration” by securing your sponsorship and ticket(s) before they go on sale! Contact Ted deLoach at 843-670-3941 or at ted@charlestonama.org for more information or to become one of our sponsors.

 

I Quit! (Thanks, AMA.)

A funny thing happened to me on the way to quitting my job of 17 years and embarking on a freelancing career. I determined that it was time for words and me to rekindle our romance, hands-on PR and marketing to welcome me back into the fold, and journalism to once again take my hand and lead me through the golden meadow. Copy has been in need of a bracing massage and I had allowed my masseur license to lapse.

I’d dotted a handful of t’s and crossed a couple of i’s in advance of this Rubicon leap. I’d named my new work (Write Stuff Communications), purchased a website domain (writestuffcomm.com – not yet active), considered my scope of work (PR/marketing soup-to-nuts; scribe) and ordered business cards.

And I’d lined up some assignments from those lost souls who, in their finite wisdom, have misplaced faith in my talents. As we Charlestonians say, bless their hearts.

I can produce strategic communication with my cerebellum tied behind my back, but selling myself, hmmm. That’s not so much on my Meyers Briggs profile. I’m an E-S-T-NO SELLING!

That “S stands for “schmoozer,” and it’s not capitalized accidentally. These years of dipping into the American Marketing well have filled my networking jug at least as much as my pitcher of knowledge. (Or perhaps it’s a teaspoon.) And now all that good AMA karma has begun to flow back to me.

Even before I decided to take the wheel of the jalopy that is my career, a whip-smart real estate agent whom I’ve befriended through AMA helped me determine that I needed to buy a house close to downtown and rent out my old place. That fine gentleman has saved me from hundreds of hours of idling in traffic and fattened my otherwise-skeletal retirement savings like a Thanksgiving turkey.

Immediately after I announced my new intentions, another member in good standing floated my name to a marketing firm for some copywriting. They reached out to me, which has got to be as rare as a championship in Cleveland. It’s a pairing worthy of Yenta the Matchmaker: the liaison at the company is a former student. Thank you, Patron Saint of Freelancers, and thank you Mr. incoming AMA President. My future genuflections to you will not solely reflect my respect for the office.

Simultaneously, an offhand conversation at an AMA event lead me to a copy writing assignment. The chat began as all pleasure and no business – my affection for particular staff members of a sharp local agency prompted it – and led to what appeared to be a mutual need.

All that, and they haven’t even rid themselves of me at the old job yet.

The point, and alert the media because I do actually have one*, is that it’s amazing how and how much AMA participation has been paying off, even though, as noted above, I’m allergic to tooting my own horn. It’s not like this wasn’t already apparent: I’ve hired photographers and graphic artists whom I’ve met through the group. I’ve paired dozens of students with internships sponsored by AMA members. I’ve witnessed people hired for positions that never saw the light of day – but reverberated through the AMA grapevine.

And now I’ve experienced it myself. Thank you AMA; thank you friends. Keep the referrals flowing. Because I need to save up and get my cerebellum out from behind my back.

barry waldman

*this time.

Surf’s Up: Time to Join the AMA

Ride the AMA Wave

Are you riding the wave to marketing success or just floating aimlessly?

If you’re looking to connect with local marketing professionals, grow in your knowledge of best marketing practices and succeed with amazing marketing campaigns, then it’s time to ride the AMA wave.

Join Charleston AMA now through May 29 and save!

During this spring membership drive, the new member fee of $30 is waived. Plus, you have the chance to win local prizes. There’s never been a better time to put your professional development first!

Head to www.jointheama.com | Promo Code: SPRING30

Connect with other Charleston AMA members or just come learn more at our Spring Happy Hour at 5:30 p.m. May 20 at The Islander, 160 Fairchild St. on Daniel Island. Just $15 for members; $20 for non-members. Get your ticket.

Already a member of the AMA? Then share this news with a colleague in the Charleston area marketing, public relations or creative field who’s looking to connect, grow and succeed.

 

Sister-Kissing At The Spark Awards

Last week, before the assembled multitudes at the Spark Awards, I kissed my sister three times.

Now, my little sister is a playfully rambunctious wit with a smile in her soul who looks 15 years her own junior, and I joyfully plant a smooch on her cheek or head when the opportunity arises, which is episodic at best given her lack of proximity (700 miles) and allergy to felines, like the one who rules my home.

So I kiss her. But these kisses are not the romantic glottal engagements that fire up the machinery of arousal in men’s and women’s hearts. They are but a peck.

All of which is academic because my sister wasn’t actually in attendance at the Spark Awards. The kiss was metaphorical, conjured by Michigan State football coach Duffy Daugherty, who left behind his mortal coil in 1987.

Daugherty, asked about the feeling of fulfillment from earning neither a win nor a loss, but a tie, compared it to kissing your sister. It’s a kiss…but it’s your sister.

Hall of Fame baseball player George Brett added that losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. What experiences exactly he employed to set this benchmark is a question I’d prefer not to consider.

Anyway, I didn’t actually, metaphorically kiss my sister, because I didn’t tie. I finished second. What is finishing second like? Where’s Duffy Daugherty when you need him?

The communications department at Trident United Way entered three categories in the Spark Awards, the annual “best of” in the Charleston marketing arena. Each of our submissions earned a place in the finals, which is some small level of validation, no? I mean, we made the tournament, won a few games and earned a spot in the Final Four.

Each of our submissions garnered oral recognition, a certificate and a photo with our local AMA’s lovely and talented president. It was nice, like a kiss. But it was second place.

And three second place finishes, well, now it’s getting close to grandmother territory. It’s less kiss than kiss off.

The great philosopher, Ricky Bobby, from that cinematic classic Talladega Nights, offers no comfort. He said “second place is first loser.”

So thank you, The Brandon Agency, for relegating our spectacular campaign video, produced by the amazing video firm Lunch & Recess, to first loser.*

And a big fish face to you, South Carolina Aquarium, for dropping our social media campaign to sister-kissing territory.*

And Gina Ellis-Strother, a most worthy 2015 Marketer of the Year, your grace and dignity, your professionalism, your evident aptitude and accomplishments, to all of that I say, thhhhhppppp. Our nominee Peter Wertimer, president of advertising at Chernoff Newman and an icon of local marketing communications, may have finished second, but he remains our prince of marketing.*

Still, just to be safe, if he ever meets my sister, he should just shake her hand.

barry waldman

* Truth is, while we’re really proud of our work, and of our ad agency and video firm, we have a Marxist view of these awards. Groucho Marx, that is. I’m not sure we’d want to win any award whose standards are so low that we could win one. Besides, have you seen the work of Brandon, the Aquarium and Gina at Charleston County Parks?

Charleston AMA Honors Outstanding Local Marketing Professionals

Holly Fisher and Marketer of the Year Gina Ellis-Strother

Holly Fisher and Marketer of the Year Gina Ellis-Strother

The Charleston American Marketing Association honored outstanding local marketers, public relations professionals and industry creatives at its 2015 Spark! Awards on March 11. Taking home the top honor of Marketer of the Year was Gina Ellis-Strother of the Charleston County Park & Recreation Commission.

Charleston areas marketers were invited to submit their work in a variety of categories during January. Board members from the Reno Tahoe AMA chapter judged the entries. Charleston AMA received almost 90 submissions — a record number of entries for its annual awards program.

“This is a chance to recognize the incredible marketing, PR and creative talents here in our Charleston community,” said Holly Fisher of H.A.F. Creative and president of the Charleston AMA chapter. “So many marketing professionals work behind the scenes creating logos, ads, websites and social media campaigns. It’s rewarding for our chapter to be able to put the spotlight on their efforts and give them much-deserved credit for their work in promoting so many of our local businesses and organizations.”

Ellis-Strother joined Charleston County Parks in 2013 where she lead the marketing team in developing the organization’s first marketing plan, launched a rebranding effort for the parks system, created a new website and developed and directed five TV commercials and several radio commercials. Additional promotions and PR creativity lead to record-breaking attendance and revenue at the parks along with extensive media coverage for the 25th anniversary Holiday Festival of Lights.

Runners-up for Marketer of the Year were Mary Roberts with the Southeastern Wildlife Exposition and Peter Wertimer of Chernoff Newman.

Winners of the 2015 Spark! Awards

Winners of the 2015 Spark! Awards

The 2015 Spark! Award winners are:

Best Commercial Photography

Jason Bennett for Firefly Moonshine & Patrick Davis

Best Book Cover

Advantage Media Group for “Out of the Question”

Runner-Up

Bob Durand for “What am I to do now, Mama?”

Best Copywriting

Town of Mount Pleasant for “Day in the Life”

Runner-Up

South Carolina Aquarium for “Show Us Your #FishFace”

Best Corporate Blog

Holly Fisher for Traveler of Charleston

Runner-Up

Holly Fisher for Allegiance Staffing

Best Direct Mail

The Brandon Agency for HTC chocolate mailer

Runner-Up

MWV for Summers Corner

Best Illustration

Andrew Barton Design for DryFins Clothing

Runner-Up

Advantage Media Group for Advantage Magazine

Best Inbound Marketing

Kiz Studios for Might & Mayhem

Best Logo Design

Bob Durand for Purple Pig Designs

Runner-Up

The Brandon Agency for Myrtle Beach Mutiny

Best Outdoor Signage

Holy City Hospitality for Hutson Alley

Best Package Design

BBIG Marketing for Feedstuff Sales

Best Print Ad

Town of Mount Pleasant

Runner-Up

Holy City Hospitality for Rue de Jean Savannah

Best Promotional Video

The Brandon Agency for CresCom

Runner-Up

Trident United Way, Chernoff Newman, Lunch & Recess for Trident United Way 2014 Campaign

Runner-Up

Adam Boozer for Lake Charles/Southwest Louisiana CVB

Best Website

Obviouslee Marketing for Charleston Wine + Food

Runner-Up

The Brandon Agency for Williams Knife Co.

Runner-Up

Obviouslee Marketing for EventHaus Rentals

Best Re-Branding / Branding Campaign

Obviouslee Marketing for EventHaus Rentals

Runner-Up

South Carolina Aquarium for Good Catch

Best Event Promotion

Lowcountry Local First for Buy Local Block Party

Runner-Up

Town of Mount Pleasant for 2014 Holiday

Best Non-Traditional / Guerrilla Campaign

The Brandon Agency for Myrtle Beach Mutiny

Runner-Up

Lowcountry Local First for Buy Local

Best Public Relations Campaign

Touchpoint Communications for GotchaRide

Runner-Up

ByrdHouse PR for Zero George

Best Social Media Campaign

South Carolina Aquarium for “Show Us Your #FishFace”

Runner-Up

Trident United Way for “What Makes My Site Coordinator Experience Sweet”

Check out all the photos from the 2015 Spark! Awards. Thank you, Stan Foxworthy of Foxworthy Studios, for being our event photographer!

2015 Spark! Awards Finalists Announced

Spark AwardsWe are thrilled to announce the finalists for the 2015 Spark! Awards. We received a record number of entries this year, which demonstrates just how talented Charleston area marketers are. The judging was done by board members from the Reno Tahoe Chapter of the American Marketing Association.

The finalists in each category are listed below in alphabetical order. The winner in each category will be announced at the Spark! Awards presentation on Wednesday, March 11 at Rue de Jean in downtown Charleston. The event begins at 6 p.m. with cocktails and hors d’oeuvres.

Please join us as we honor the best among Charleston’s creative, marketing and PR industries. Tickets are $25 for Charleston AMA members; $40 for non-members. Purchase Spark! tickets online.

Marketer of the Year

Gina Ellis-Strother, Charleston County Park & Recreation Commission

Mary Roberts, Southeastern Wildlife Exposition

Peter Wertimer, Chernoff Newman

 

Best Commercial Photography

Jason Bennett
Firefly Moonshine & Patrick Davis

 

Best Book Cover

Advantage Media Group
“Out of the Question”

Bob Durand
“What am I to do now, Mama?”

 

Best Copywriting

South Carolina Aquarium
“Show Us Your #FishFace”

Town of Mount Pleasant
“Day in the Life”

 

Best Corporate Blog

Holly Fisher
Allegiance Staffing

Holly Fisher
Traveler of Charleston

 

Best Direct Mail

MWV
Summers Corner

The Brandon Agency
HTC Chocolate Mailer

 

Best Illustration 

Advantage Media Group
Advantage Magazine

Andrew Barton Design
DryFins Clothing

 

Best Inbound Marketing

Kiz Studios
Might & Mayhem

 

Best Logo Design

Bob Durand
Purple Pig Designs

The Brandon Agency
Myrtle Beach Mutiny

 

Best Outdoor Signage

Holy City Hospitality
Hutson Alley

 

Best Package Design

BBIG Marketing
Feedstuff Sales

 

Best Print Ad

Holy City Hospitality
Rue de Jean Savannah

Town of Mount Pleasant

 

Best Promotional Video

Adam Boozer
Lake Charles/Southwest Louisiana CVB

The Brandon Agency
CresCom

Trident United Way, Chernoff Newman, Lunch & Recess
Trident United Way 2014 Campaign

 

Best Website

Obviouslee Marketing
Charleston Wine + Food

Obviouslee Marketing
EventHaus Rentals

The Brandon Agency
Williams Knife Co.

 

Best Re-Branding / Branding Campaign

Obviouslee Marketing
EventHaus Rentals

South Carolina Aquarium
Good Catch

 

Best Event Promotion

Lowcountry Local First
Buy Local Block Party

Town of Mount Pleasant
2014 Holiday

 

Best Non-Traditional / Guerrilla Campaign

Lowcountry Local First
Buy Local

The Brandon Agency
Myrtle Beach Mutiny

 

Best Public Relations Campaign

ByrdHouse PR
Zero George

Touchpoint Communications
GotchaRide

 

Best Social Media Campaign

South Carolina Aquarium
“Show Us Your #FishFace”

Trident United Way
“What Makes My Site Coordinator Experience Sweet”

Digging the Pig Wasn’t Enough

In a dramatic break with tradition, I am about to embark on an exploration of concepts tenuously connected to marketing. I apologize in advance for this transgression.

I’ve been thinking about Piggly Wiggly lately and the limits of positive branding. I loved The Pig. Didn’t everyone? I love my Piggly Wiggly shirt and my Pig tumbler, from which I drink my favorite libations (primarily chocolate milk.) (No, really.) I love my purple Piggly Wiggly winter hat, which features my favorite local mascot, The Pig. I’m big on him.

I like to show visitors Buzzy Newton’s house on The Battery, the one guarded by a pair of stone-carved pig sentinels. David Schools, the last Pig CEO (and provider of all my Pig swag) is a funny and humble guy. When people would ask him his vocation, the CEO of a beloved supermarket chain would say, “I work at The Pig.” I wish him and his family nothing but the best.

I loved Piggly Wiggly’s advertising campaigns too. They were local since forever. That struck a chord, even though I’m not local since forever. The campaign reminded us that The Pig is authentic South. The Pig was there for us – or you, anyway – long before Charleston was fashionable, winning awards and all la-de-da about itself. Back then Piggly Wiggly was providing your blocks of ice, your collard greens, your sweet tea and your lard-encrusted bacon fat sandwiches lathered in pork grease. The advertising campaign almost made us feel obligated to buy groceries there.

That so many Charlestonians feel warmly towards the Pig is a testament to their exquisite branding. Companies spend billions of dollars attempting to coax from consumers a sliver of the affection that Piggly Wiggly generated, mostly by not taking themselves too seriously.

But here’s the thing: my family rarely shopped at Piggly Wiggly.

There wasn’t a Pig near where I lived or worked, but more importantly, Piggly Wiggly stores were too lowbrow for my family. We eat tofu and hummus and free range turkeys in my house. We drink almond milk and munch on carrots that first had to be cut and scraped by someone else, who then rounds the edges to prevent any unfortunate carrot stabbing incidents. That’s not lowbrow. (It is pathetic, but that’s another story.)

Evidently, we weren’t alone, because Piggly Wiggly was forced to sell off most of its properties. It was too small to compete on price with Walmart and just when it tried to pivot to higher ground in the supermarket hierarchy the mortgage brokers and financial services companies generously provided us all with the worst economic crash of our lifetimes.

When Piggly Wiggly Carolina Company began to contract, I could have switched my purchases their way in an effort to help rescue our beloved stores. But I did not, and neither did you.

Because the truth about the marketplace is that it’s all about us, the consumer, not them, the vendor. We buy where it’s convenient and inexpensive, and the experience is positive; how we feel about the company is largely irrelevant. Dan Cathy’s narrow-minded views about my gay friends don’t exactly split my infinitives, but I like the way he Fil-A’s his Chik’n, so that boycott will have to wait until after lunch. Conversely, though I admire Publix’s spectacular culture of philanthropy, there’s a Harris Teeter around the corner from my house. Walking distance, one; admiration, nothing.

So we all respected and esteemed Piggly Wiggly, and sighed with melancholy when it disassembled. But when it came right down to it, price, service and proximity meant a lot more to us than brand love.

 

–barry waldman

Share Your Expertise for Good!

Do you know how to make the generations take notice – and take action?

Are you a pro at integrating multi-channel communications to amp up results?

Do you have the magic formula for effective cause marketing?

Are you a master at storytelling that commands attention?

If you answered “yes” to any of these questions, now’s your chance to spread the word! Build your business, your résumé, and your marketing industry cred as a session leader at the AMA’s highly rated national Nonprofit Marketing Conference this July in Washington, DC.

Even if you’re not a do-gooder by title, this is your chance to educate and inspire the nonprofit marketers who strive to make a difference in our communities every day. The conference attracts marketers from around the country in organizations, foundations, and associations both big and small. You’ll find names you recognize, like past attendees from the Red Cross and the USO, as well as community-level nonprofits with equally impactful missions.

The AMA is accepting speaker proposals for this annual conference in the following tracks, which reflect some of today’s hottest marketing topics:

  • Motivating the Generations
  • Amping Up Integrated Communications
  • Making Cause Marketing Work
  • Getting Personal with Storytelling

Learn more about the conference and read the full Call for Entries – including downloading the entry form – at www.ama.org/nonprofit. All proposals must be submitted by February 6.

Questions? Contact the AMA’s Quinn Meyer by email to 2015NonprofitCFP@ama.org or at AMA’s Chicago headquarters directly at (312) 542-9018.

A Brilliant Marketing Scheme

Congratulate me: I’m about to be fabulously wealthy.

I have this foolproof idea to make millions of dollars. It involves a bad movie and some brilliant marketing. I mean evil genius marketing. Check it out.

First, I’ll hire some dopes to make a juvenile flick about . . . whatever – who cares? Humor based on metabolic methane production will abound, as will lower-body sphincters, the modular employment of a 17-word vocabulary and potshots at a Dark Ages dictatorship. Hijinks will ensue even in the absence of a coherent script. (Money-saving device!)

We’ll make sure to blow up some things to quench the reptilian brains of adolescents. Unfortunately, our target audience is prohibited from seeing movie depictions of female lactation producers – a surefire revenue doubler – so we will substitute the southward-facing end of an over-sized northbound male. It’s a pale imitation, but it’s worth some coin.

Okay, whatever whatever. The premise is secondary. Here comes the marketing ploy.

Our ad agency will fabricate a controversy about some element or other in the movie. Something petty and gratuitous. Something that would ordinarily elude the grasp of the mouth-breathers upon whom we depend for ticket sales. (And by mouth-breathers we mean, males.)

On cue, some discredited outfit will protest the movie loudly, organize a boycott, demand an apology in the name of some oppressed, if hardly defined, subset of humanity. We’ll goad them into bomb threats at theaters and the like to spook the suits in corporate into ditching the project.

You see where I’m going? Suddenly, this low-budget celluloid tripe will become a cause célèbre. Intellectuals will rise to defend free speech. Joe and Jane Backporch will rebel against anyone telling them what to watch. Americans of all stripes will link arms to support this beacon of hope in the visual arts.

So, okay, we’ll release it on a limited basis, you know, to keep the demand outpacing the supply. Scarcity will whip the nation into a frenzy. And then the rest of the developed world will hop on board. The Dutch and Danish don’t like being told what free expression to consume, even if it’s fart jokes. Nor do Norwegians, Lithuanians or Sri Lankans. (Maybe Sri Lankans do; I need to brush up on them.)

The free world will beg us to release the film. It’s a film now, you notice? They will demand the right to pay real American cash monies (or Kroners or Litas or Rupee) for a ticket. Take that, ostensible censors! Vanquished by the unquenchable thirst for freedom!

Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton will smile upon us. Better yet, so will Salmon P. Chase and Woodrow Wilson, their denominations being larger. We will transform everyone involved in our project into hero defenders of free expression! And, far more importantly, one-percenters.

God Bless America! And other countries with paying customers.

I’m assembling the detailed plan this weekend and then I’m going to pitch it to…wait, what?

Oh.

Nevermind.

 

barry waldman